It is amazing how we must come back to learn about one’s self, and how this self remains the biggest mystery to us. This living organism, being molded and denied and conditioned since birth, evolves to an adult body, containing a very confused self-awareness often called soul, constantly changing on cellular and atomic levels, growing, then deteriorating to its demise. In the middle of the process, we ask: what is it? (Or: What am I?) As far as we are concerned, we are the only biological organism asking this question. Not even all of us. There is a threshold of humanity above which you must develop to be able to ask this question. Many human forms did not even achieve that. For those who barely crossed this threshold, this question only vaguely appears in their bad dreams. To be able to come to this self-consciousness and ask this question clearly is what it is to be human.
In solitude one lives with oneself. And one had better take a good look at it. The awareness of the body. Then the awareness of the mind. How does everything work? We don’t know. When something stops working, we don’t know why either.
In the past I have been busy absorbing external knowledge to overcome external forces. I do not know what exists in me. I use one doctrine to battle another, until I have exhausted my armory and my mind. I don’t know what intrinsic force or power I have.